Drunk
by watchitstark
Summary: It's Claudia's 21st birthday, though they promise they weren't initially intending to drink. Bering and Wells, Cleena.


"Claudia, I don't think that you're going to like the fact that you've drank that much in the morning," Myka said as motherly as she could, but she didn't make an attempt to take the bottle from the younger woman.

"I'm finally 21! I drink as much as I like!" she exclaimed, ignoring Myka's poor attempts.

"But you're drinking on your own, which actually isn't as fun as it might seem right now."

"Sure it is! And if it's such a problem then why don't you wander up to the bar and ask that hot bartender for a drink?"

"Which one's supposed to be the hot one? I wouldn't say either of them are particularly appealing," the brunette made a face and the others laughed.

"Well I'd say the hot one would be the blonde chick that's been looking at me all night," Pete cut in.

"I think you'll find she's been looking at me," Helena smirked.

"The guy with the glasses and the hair flick!" Claudia exclaimed, pretty much ignoring the others.

"That's so typical of you, Claudia," Pete said with an eye roll and pretty much everyone converged on him.

"She's typical?! Oh look that female has breasts, I'm in," Myka imitated him.

"I'm not thhaaatttt picky," he whined and pouted into his Coca Cola.

"The woman at the bar is rather comely," HG piped up in his defence and Myka just rolled her eyes at her as well.

"It doesn't matter whether he has good taste or not, he doesn't have to salivate over every single attractive female that he goes near."

"So what do you think of the woman at the bar?" Helena asked with a smirk and took a sip of her beverage.

"I, well, I don't know," she shrugged helplessly. "If I were to swing that way then I suppose I can see the appeal."

"You called my ex-wife hot once," Pete said gleefully and the exasperated agent rolled her eyes.

"I can see, Pete. Just because I'm not attracted to her does not mean that I can't appreciate the way she looks."

"You totally are attracted to women Myka. You know, if you'd realise that then we could go out and compete and I'd be your wingman. I've always wanted to be a lesbian's wingman," Pete trailed off, imagining all the fun he could have with Myka if only she would embrace the gay.

"What's a wingman?" Helena couldn't resist asking.

"Oh, it's like guys go out in pairs and help each other pick up girls," Myka explained distractedly.

"You could be my "wingman" if it doesn't work out with Myka," she volunteered.

"Aw yea HG you're so cool," they fist bumped after only a moment's hesitation on the older woman's part and the curly haired agent groaned.

"Helena, you're encouraging him!"

"Look at how happy he is now, it's like someone's just told him that the barmaid winked at him, when actually she was just responding to the sly smile I just shot her."

"The wink wasn't for me?!" Pete deflated. "Dammit HG, stop stealing all my women. Maybe I don't want to be your wingman if it's always like this."

"Oh, I'm sorry dear. Go see if she'll date men too seeing as I'm not actually intending on taking this any further than flirting across the room."

"Ooh, good idea, thanks HG! You know, you would actually make a pretty great wingman," he grinned as he jogged up to the bar to present himself to the blonde.

"I'm going to get another drink. Myka you are coming with me. We are getting drinks. And I'll get something noxious for HG that she won't have tried before. Like a Jägerbomb!"

"Oh God no Claudia have even drunk those before? They're revolting!"

"No, they're great! We could get medley shots! Can we just get everything? We get paid well and our food and rent paid for us okay let's do this."

They ended up with a tray each of various things.

"Helena, I would stay away from most of this. I'm pretty much leaving it up to Claudia."

"Claudia, really, you can't drink all that," Leena protested; she'd kept out of it until now, but this was taking it too far.

"Nooo, which is why you guys are helping me!" she exclaimed brightly and passed something to HG, who shrugged and downed it.

"Oh that was vile," she said mildly, not sounding terribly surprised. Myka laughed and took her drink off the tray, leaning back and sipping sedately. "Oh Myka, do join in," the older woman admonished and passed her something random while Claudia knocked something back, resurfacing coughing with her eyes streaming.

"What was that?" she croaked.

"You're the one that bought everything," Myka reminded her.

"Oh hush, drink up. You get the rest of whatever that is for whining," Claudia laughed.

"Claudia, you're going to end up in an alcoholic stupor," Leena tried again.

"You should join me in that," the redhead smirked and nudged the B&B owner with her shoulder, nodding to the drinks.

"You're ridiculous," she huffed as she took one.

**~Bering and Wells~**

In the end it turned out that Pete had given HG's number to the barmaid instead of his own, and had to drive them all home because they were intoxicated to a point that he had never really considered seeing on any of them. Somehow all four women were crushed in the back and no one was sat in the passenger seat, which he didn't understand, and they were all lolling about laughing like crazy. He also didn't understand that, but that could be because he hadn't been drunk for over eight years. When they got to the B&B HG got a call.

"Hello, Helena speaking," she managed to pull herself together enough to form words as she sat down heavily on the stairs; she couldn't balance and not slur her speech at the same time. She covered the receiver and frowned.

"It's the woman from the bar. What do I do?"

"Go have sexytimes!" was Pete's immediate answer.

"Blow her off?" Myka came up with.

"Tell her you're drunk?" Leena replied, somehow still managing to be the most responsible in this situation. Helena nodded and put the phone back to her ear.

"I am afraid that I am terribly, terribly drunk, I simply wouldn't be any good right now." She listened for a moment and then nodded to herself.

"Yes, I shall call you back tomorrow when I am vaguely sober," she flipped her phone closed and dropped it on the stairs, and then she staggered upright.

"So you wouldn't be any good eh?" Myka teased and Helena blushed.

"No one performs their best while drunk, of that I can assure you," she replied as breezily as she could manage.

"I think everyone should go to bed?" Pete tried but they brushed that off.

"Helena you should come with me!" Myka announced, heading up the stairs. The inventor shrugged and followed her, leaving the others. Pete was rather surprised when he turned around to find Claudia pressed against a wall by Leena, their lips locked.

"Looks like I'm going to bed then," he announced unnecessarily and scuttled away.

By the time Helena had successfully half-crawled up the stairs Myka had already fallen onto her bed.

"Myyyyyykkkaaaaa, why am I here?" she whined, leaning against the doorframe unsteadily.

"Because I want you to be, come on," she beckoned with a wild wave of her arms and grinned as Helena went and stood next to the bed, close enough that she could grab her hand and pull her next to her. She snuggled into her side and fell asleep rather promptly. Their legs were tangled and HG was still wearing her boots and her jacket but she found that sleep was also ensnaring her senses.

_**A/N:Possible day after fic, that decision has not yet been made! :D**_


End file.
